Culture Clash and Family Traditions by Sara Keli at kidmagazine.com.au
As a family, the traditions you have really set the culture and tone of your family unit. They are a nod to your heritage and an intention for the future. And importantly, they unite you as a family and bring you back to what is important for you collectively and as individuals.
My husband is the son of Italian immigrants while I was raised in a very “Australian” family. He is one of three boys while I am one of two girls. Our childhoods, our family traditions and our experience of culture, could not have been more different. That difference was always something I enjoyed. Who wouldn’t want to eat a BBQ on Saturday and then head to an Italian feast on Sunday?
But then we added kids in to the mix and all of a sudden we have to somehow blend our traditions and our past into a cohesive story about our family. Even if you don’t have the chalk and cheese childhoods that my husband and I have this is still no simple task. Given the importance of family traditions for helping children feel like they belong and for defining your family, you want to get it right and it starts with a conversation.
Until we had children, our experience of each other’s families was more superficial. Of course we knew how our families each celebrated special events and we had talked about some elements of our upbringing as they came up in conversation but at no point had we ever asked, “What were your family traditions when you were a kid?” If you don’t know where you have come from then you don’t know where you are going so establishing the past is the first step.
As different as our childhoods were, my husband and I were definitely able to find common ground. We both had strong memories of the relationship with our grandparents and traditions associated with this. We also knew that both of our families loved to come together for celebrations around a table full of food. This common ground is the starting point for your combined family traditions.
As silly as you may think some of your partners family traditions are, as with anything in a relationship, respect is essential. Their family traditions are a huge part of who they are and to dismiss or disrespect their traditions can be very hurtful. Always start with respect.
And now comes the fun part – the chance to build you own family traditions together. With your common ground as the foundation you can gradually build on it to define your own family culture. Involve the kids and encourage them to have a say on what is important to them. Allow your traditions to evolve over time and enjoy the process of developing them. One day your kids will be looking back on these moments and traditions as they build the culture of their own growing families.
About Sara
Sara Keli is the Editor and Chief Kid of Kid Magazine, a digital magazine and blog full of inspiration and empowerment for mums to help them find more time for the fun stuff with their kids. She lives in Sydney with her husband and two daughters and when she isn’t writing, designing or creating she can be found enjoying the sunshine in the backyard or escaping into a good book.
How do you manage any culture clash and family traditions in your family?
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