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For Mum

I wasn’t maternal, but I’m a good mum

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By Kell at All Mum Said

Growing up I had no plans to become a mother. I had four younger brothers and sisters, so I don’t know if that contributed to my decision or not.

I do suspect, however, that it was a result of my desire to travel the world.

Well, that and the fact babies would just cry when they saw me. I’m not exaggerating: if I held a baby, even a toddler, they would drop their bottom lip and cry for not just their parents, they would reach out for anyone else. Ouch.

When I was a teenager I didn’t not like kids, I just didn’t see them in my future. I became a chef so I could travel the world and work anywhere.

Of course, fate – or destiny, or whatever you want to call it – had different plans.

When I was 19, life threw me a curve ball and I found out I was pregnant. I’ll be honest: at the time it was devastating news. For one thing, my boyfriend (now husband) and I hadn’t spoken about having kids. Secondly, it wasn’t how I saw my life.

When I broke the news to my now-husband, I was in tears. He, however, was thrilled. He was like a kid in a toy shop, filled with excitement. While it took me a little longer to come around to the idea, his reaction definitely made it easier to accept.

It almost seemed immediate: the moment I discovered I was pregnant, kids would smile at me. Babies would giggle. I began to picture my life with my own little family and it felt right.

The day my first child was born didn’t quite go to plan – not that I was expecting a birth plan to happen how it was written, I just didn’t consider the option that after a 22-hour labour, I would need an emergency c-section.

Putting that aside, I was awash with emotion when I looked at this perfect little chubby baby boy who would soon call me ‘mum’. The parenting thing seemed to come naturally and it seemed that all the maternal instincts everyone talks about appeared in that very moment.

My first child was easy. He was placid, calm and slept well, which made the whole transition into parenthood so much easier.

And of course, my life didn’t turn out as I’d once planned. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought I would end up being a mum to four children, married to my childhood sweetheart, happily playing house.

While it is very different to what I envisioned, it is just as amazing.

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