Pregnancy is an exciting time as you prepare to welcome your precious newborn baby into the world. However for one mum, the arrival of her second child came as a complete shock – particularly as didn’t even know she was pregnant in the first place.

“I really needed to push”

Georgia Crowther was completely unaware that she was nine months pregnant and about to go into labour. She and her partner Calvin Home had just enjoyed a night out with their family when Georgia awoke at 3am experiencing painful stomach cramps.

The couple was told that an ambulance was six hours away so Georgia stayed in bed while Calvin went downstairs to look after their daughter, two-year-old Isla-Mae.

“I had been on the bed and I just felt like I really needed to push,” the mum told the Manchester Evening News. “I got on my hands and knees and was just biting on to the duvet.”

By the time Calvin came upstairs, Georgia had given birth to their son. “When he came up I was on the floor and I had just had the baby,” she reported. “He was on the phone to the ambulance and was like ‘oh my god, it’s a f****** baby.’”

The couple’s son, now named Vincent, arrived at 8.05am, and within 10 minutes, both he and Georgia were taken to hospital. They stayed there for a few days to make sure all was well until finally allowed home to re-unite with dad and big sister.

No pregnancy signs

Georgia had no indication that she was pregnant and, up until the start of her labour, was feeling absolutely fine. Having had a contraception injection, the mum wasn’t having any periods and had also gained a little bit of weight after the birth of her first child. “Since I had my girl I have struggled really badly with my weight and when I was going out I was feeling really bloated,” she said.

Georgia also recalls people actually saying that she looked pregnant. Little did she know that they were telling her the truth. “I would get really upset and then when the baby came out, I was like wow maybe that is why,” she said.

Time to celebrate

While the news was a total shock for Georgia, Calvin and their families, it was also brought great joy. Georgia’s parents were said to be “absolutely over the moon” about their newest grandchild. “There was a lot of swearing when I told my family,” Georgia said. “There was a lot of shock. Everyone thought I was joking at first.”

Naturally, with such short notice, the couple had nothing ready for a newborn, so family and friends organised collections of baby clothes and other necessities to make sure Vincent had everything he needed. “All our families have got together to help as we were not prepared at all,” Georgia said. “We have been given so much stuff it’s incredible.

So while his arrival was unexpected, little Vincent is now certainly making his presence felt – and his mum and dad could not be happier.

Brought to you by Tommee Tippee.

The time has come to introduce your baby to bottle-feeding. Maybe you’re ready to go back to work, maybe you’re just ready. Whatever the reason, you want the transition to be as smooth and harmonious as possible so both you and baby can still enjoy that special feeding time.

Here are some tips that might just come in handy when trying to bottle-feed your baby.

Get nice and comfy

When it comes to bottle-feeding, get into a comfortable position, cuddling your baby nice and close. Then keep your baby in a fairly upright position, while supporting their head and neck with your hand. Tilt the bottle at a slight angle so as to control the flow of milk and stop your baby from choking, spluttering or taking in too much air. You can always pause to change sides to give your baby a fresh outlook with new things to focus on.

Select the right bottle 

It may take a bit of trial and error, but hunt around until you find the bottle that is best for your baby. Tommee Tippee’s fantastic range will definitely have a model that suits. The Closer to Nature super soft silicone bottles are a great option, as they’re shaped like a breast and feel just like a breast, which is just what your baby wants. Unlike many other silicone bottles, they are made of odour-resistant material. Plus, they’re anti-static so stay free of dust or other particles, and are naturally BPA, PVC, and phthalate free.

Check the temperature

Warm up the bottle by placing it in a bowl of warm water or even holding it under a running hot water tap. Give it a good shake and tip up to test a few drops of breastmilk or formula on your wrist. Many babies like the temperature to be as close to body temperature as possible, so you don’t want to feel anything at all on your skin. If it feels a little cooler, that’s usually fine, but if you feel warmth on your skin, then it may be too hot for your baby. Heating in a microwave is not recommended as it heats unevenly and the liquid can burn your baby’s mouth.

Find a teat to suit

You need a teat that is appropriate for the age of your baby. For a newborn, you want a teat with a slower flow so your baby doesn’t take in too much milk or air. Tommee Tippee’s new Closer to Nature silicone bottles offer an incredibly breast-like teat that flexes, stretches and moves just like mum. It encourages a natural latch and has an anti-colic valve, reducing excessive airflow, so your baby takes in more milk and less air.

Ask someone else to feed

Sometimes a baby associates feeding with a mother’s breast so may not be at all interested in you feeding them with a bottle. This is when it might be helpful to get someone else to bottle-feed your baby – preferably someone who is familiar, such as your partner or the baby’s grandparents. Baby will then be able to properly focus with no distractions and get down to the business of feeding.

What if your baby doesn’t finish it all?

If your baby doesn’t finish the bottle, then simply throw away the remaining breastmilk or formula. You shouldn’t keep or store any leftovers, as bacteria from your baby’s saliva, or even from the air, can contaminate the milk and put your baby at risk of becoming unwell with vomiting or diarrhoea. This is definitely a situation where you are not being wasteful, but just doing what is right for your baby.

Read more about Tommee Tippee’s Closer to Nature silicone bottle, or read reviews of the Tommee Tippee range.

Every parent lives in fear of losing their child, whether at the pool, a theme park or even the local shops. And for those that have ever experienced it, every second feels like an eternity. However one mum posted a cheap and easy safety hack on TikTok that might help put parents at ease. And the clip went viral.

“Keep your kids safe”

Shari Medini, co-owner of parenting website Adore Them Parenting and co-author of Parenting While Working from Home, has a few tips up her sleeve. And this practical safety suggestion is extremely simple. “Keep your kids safe this summer with this quick and easy mum hack,” she says. “All you have to do is order a pack of these Tyveck wristbands. They’re like 500 in a pack for less than $10.”

“Keep them in your car or your bag, along with a Sharpie,” Shari continues. “Then whenever you get to your destination, just write your name and your phone number and put it on your kids wrist.”

Piece of mind

This is an excellent idea and as Shari says, “It’s waterproof, cheap, easy and might just give you a little bit of piece of mind while you’re out and about having fun this summer.”

It may not be new for some parents out there (as many followers commented on the post), however the idea of having the right materials, ready to use at a moment’s notice is fantastic. How often do you go somewhere and you don’t have pen or anything to write on? Except your child’s arm/hand, which is never the most reliable surface…

“That’s … genius”

The video attracted enormous attention with nearly 11,000 likes and over 100 comments. Most of the viewers were thrilled with the tip. “Oh my gosh, this is brilliant!” posted one follower, while another said, “Most theme parks do this for you at guest services. But great idea mom”. Other appreciative comments came flooding through such as “great idea”, “love this!” and “this is awesome”.

However for some parents, the hack proved problematic when it came to the issue of privacy. “I would rather not have my child walking around with personal information on his wrist,” commented one concerned parent.

Followers then suggested helpful solutions for this problem. “You can write the info on the inside and then teach your kid to rip it off for the number,” was one idea, or even easier, “I would write the name and number on the inside and say ‘take off in case of emergency’.”

So, while the wristband idea does not suit everyone, it might just help to alleviate some parents’ stress. After all, keeping track of a busy toddler is a full time job and any help you can get to make it easier, is always worth considering.

If your family is anything like mine (and many others across the globe), by now you’ll be completely hooked on the hilarious and extremely popular kids’ show Bluey. However, while the show holds a mirror to everyday family life, some busy and over-worked parents feel that it highlights the shortfalls of their own parenting styles.

Created by Joe Brumm, Bluey is about a family of four with a mum called Chilli, a dad named Bandit, and two young daughters, Bluey, 6, and Bingo, 4. It could be any family navigating the world of play, adventure and relationships – well, apart from the fact that they’re dogs. But this doesn’t stop them sharing familiar activities, playing fun games and dealing with the ups and downs of life’s many lessons.

The show is an absolute delight and hugely successful, however Chilli and Bandit’s attentive hands-on parenting left one parent feeling a little less than perfect. Turning to Mumsnet, the parent shared a light-hearted post about how the show makes them feel a little inadequate about their own parenting, which they describe as “semi-negligent”.

“How do they have the energy to play with their kids ALLLLL the time,” they posted. “All the kit. The little games. The fun ideas. I do play with my kids obviously but good grief. More than 10 minutes role play and I want to to gouge my eyes out.”

While the post is a humorous one, there is some truth to it. Bandit and Chilli encourage fantastic imaginary play, which includes a host of innovative games, many of which have been adapted by families everywhere. You only need to say the words ‘Keepy Uppy’, ‘Magic Xylophone’, ‘Hotels’ or ‘Taxi’ and parents will know exactly what you’re talking about.

Bandit and Chilli are open, imaginative and playful, with never-ending time and patience for their kids. Plus they successfully guide their kids through emotions, disappointments or issues family issues such as sibling squabbles. Sometimes, it can feel hard to keep up.

“I want to be them”

Other Mumsnet users agreed with the sentiment of the post. Everyone loves the show, some even more than their children. And many secretly wish that they too could be a bit more like Bandit and Chilli. As one viewer said, “They are the most fun parents ever.”

“Bluey is my absolute favourite but I do sometimes worry my kids are watching it thinking I wish my mum and dad were a bit more like that,” said one parent. Another said, “Bluey is fab but does make me feel like an inadequate parent.”

One parent found that the show had such a positive effect on their children, that they too wanted to be more like Bluey’s parents. “My kids have fought like cat and dog their whole lives (almost 6 and almost 5) despite me trying everything to get them to play nicely together,” they posted. “8 weeks after discovering Bluey it’s like we live in a different house! They’re actually nice to each other! And they can play co-operatively and solve their own disputes! I love it! Bandit and Chilli are awesome parents and I want to be them.”

How to be more like Bandit and Chilli

While some mum and dads feel they can’t compete, much has been written about the show’s magical effect on today’s parenting and what we, as parents, can learn from the show. On The Conversation, expert psychologists from the University of Queensland, Koa Whittingham, Amy Mitchell and Ben Mitchell discuss the many pearls of parenting wisdom that Bluey offers.

One aspect explored is about acting like the sort of parent you want to be, whether you feel like it or not.

“Bandit and Chilli frequently give a sigh and a skywards glance before playing yet another game of ‘hospitals’ or ‘hotels’ with their children – it is clear that it isn’t always easy for them – yet, being a fun and playful parent is clearly a core value for both of them,” they reported. “So they jump right in regardless.”

So while some of us may feel like we fall short in the Bluey parenting stakes, luckily we have the show to remind us about what’s important. And what’s most important is that we’re all doing our best and nobody’s perfect, even Bandit and Chilli – although most agree, these wonderful dog parents do come pretty close.

One thing’s for sure, newborns cry a lot. And parents go to great lengths to try and settle them with all sorts of techniques such as driving them around in the car, popping them in vibrating bouncer or, in my case, holding your baby while walking around the house doing one-handed tasks until they fall asleep. However, sometimes the most unexpected things can work, as one TikToker discovered when she played heavy metal music to her crying newborn.

Happy hard rocker 

Mary O’Brien posted a clip of her baby, which, for many parents of newborns, looks quite amazing. Initially the baby is quite distraught, crying in her father’s arms. As he gently tries to soothe her, the baby shows no sign of settling. Cue the rousing sound of heavy metal band Memphis May Fire and the change is instantaneous. The baby visibly calms down, stops crying and drifts off to sleep. The mother captioned the video with the question, “Why did this song reliably put my daughter to sleep for all of the newborn phase?”

@maryeobrien

Why.

♬ original sound – Mary OBrien

Parent’s top tunes

The clip has gone completely viral, with over 2 million views and over 5,750 comments. Not only is it hilarious to watch, but the effect of the music on the crying baby is quite remarkable. You just want to watch it over and over as it never fails to impress. One parent was so astounded that they immediately gave it a go and posted, “WHY DID THIS JUST WORK ON MY 8 MONTH OLD?”

Other parents offered suggestions of songs that worked on their own babies. “My daughter stops crying immediately when she hears Montero by Lil Nas X”, commented one. Another said, “My youngest was only lulled by AC/DC,” while another follower said, “My daughter used to fall asleep to Rage Against the Machine.”

Meanwhile, other suggestions were more random: “my ex-husband used to sing ‘It’s Raining Men’ to our firstborn son. Hushed him up every time!”

Why does this happen?

While a number of followers were simply impressed by the baby’s taste in music, others offered their opinions on why this occurred. One viewer said, “When studying music’s effect on the brain, classical and metal effect the brain the same way!”

Another also said there was a reason for it: “The music is vibing with her circadian rhythm and it’s causing her relaxations sense to kick in.” One follower said, “Fun Fact: metal can [be] calming for some people with anxiety. So when a baby is crying/stressed it can chill them out too.” Another offered this explanation: “Heavy metal beat matches moms heartbeat and the rest mimics the noise from being in utero so it instantly calms new borns.”

Meanwhile others suggested more straightforward explanations. “They all go quiet when they hear someone else screaming,” says one, while another commented, “someone’s angrier than she is and that’s comforting.”

So, when it comes to calming your baby, who knows what will work and why. I have one child that needs noise to go to sleep and once that needs absolute quiet. It just takes a while to work out what technique (or heavy metal tune) works for which baby. And this clip goes to show that at the end of the day – or a long sleepless night – absolutely anything is worth a try.

Regular COVID testing is part of everyday life daily life, not only for us but now also our children. And while, as adults, we’re comfortable getting tested for the mildest of symptoms, it may feel daunting for our little ones. So in our efforts to do the right thing, how can we best prepare our children for what lies ahead at the testing clinic?

1. Talk about it

Have COVID-19 related discussions with your little one beforehand, so they know what is going to happen and why. Encourage your child to ask questions about the virus, why we have to get a test and what happens during the testing process. Even better watch an online video of a child having a COVID-19 test such as this one at NSW Health.

According to Therese O’Sullivan and Mandie Richardson, child health and development experts from Edith Cowan University, knowing how things will unfold will help your child through the testing process. “Knowledge of what is going to happen is important for children to feel in control and empowered in situations like COVID testing,” the pair reported to The Conversation.

2. Be honest about the test

Explain to your toddler that the test might feel a little uncomfortable so that they’re prepared. However, Dr Jan Fizzell, Senior Medical Advisor from NSW Heath says that if you’re a parent of a toddler, then you know that sticking things up their nose is fairly commonplace and most of the time they’re fine with it. “Most toddlers have stuck something rather large up their nose, it could be a pea, it could be their finger – they’re fine with putting things up their nose,” says Dr Jan. “This is not as bad as that.”

3. Get into character

Depending on the age of your child, doing a little role playing can help prepare them for the testing process. Perhaps your child can pop on a mask and pretend to test their teddy or doll. Use a long skewer with a cotton tip taped to the end to create the sense of the swab that will be used during the test. “This type of preparation helps children feel more comfortable and less anxious before medical procedures,” says Ms O’Sullivan and Ms Richardson.

4. Let your child choose

Letting your child participate in the process can help them to feel in control of the situation. Perhaps they can choose which testing hub to go to and what they’re going to wear. Let them choose what they want to take such as a toy to play with, a book to read and a snack they might want to eat.

5. Always be confident

At the end of the day, if we feel anxious or scared, our kids can sense it immediately. It’s important for us, as parents, to stay as calm as possible throughout the testing process. “The key thing is that you have confidence,” says Dr Jan. “Kids feed off our fear.” If you look worried and scared about the test, then your child will pick up on it, so try to stay relaxed to help ease any stress. Better still, if you need to have a test yourself, then perhaps go first. Your child will then watch and see that there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.

6. Follow up afterwards

It can be helpful to discuss the test afterwards. You can ask your child questions about how the test went, what happened or how it made them feel. Perhaps you can talk about what happens next in terms of waiting for a result. It doesn’t have to be a long chat, particularly if they find it in any way upsetting. Some kids are happy to talk about their experience, so simply listen to what they have to say. If your child doesn’t want to talk about it, then just give them little more time and leave it to another day.

For many people, having a baby can be time of worry, filled with unexpected surprises at every turn. But for some women, these worries become so huge they’re unable to live life as they normally would.

While there is currently no formal screening process for pregnancy-related anxiety, research is now being done to change this in order to raise awareness and properly help those in need.

Pregnancy-related anxiety is real

Dr Robyn Brunton, from the School of Psychology at Charles Sturt University in Bathurst, has been researching pregnancy-related anxiety over the past nine years. Having interviewed more than 9000 women in the process, she says that the condition is characterised by fears and worries unique to being pregnant and becoming a mum.

“What really encourages me in this research is that usually when we have a fear (anxiety is fear-based) we avoid it to lessen those anxious feelings; for example, if you get anxious about flying, you tend to drive,” Dr Brunton commented on the Charles Sturt University website. “However, for many pregnant women if they have fears and worries, such as about childbirth, they can’t avoid them.”

What the research shows

The research reveals that pregnancy-related anxiety is different to general anxiety, with women concerned about specific aspects of having a baby, such as the health of their child, becoming a mother, body image, accepting the pregnancy and actually going though childbirth. According to Dr Brunton, women who are having their first baby, women who are older or women who have a history of child abuse are all more likely to experience pregnancy-related anxiety.

What is the aim?

The aim of the study is to not only better identify the condition and explain to women what is going on, but also to help those who are likely to suffer from it. According to Dr Brunton, many clinical and research anxiety scales do not adequately screen for pregnancy-related anxiety. There is also no formal screening for it in most countries such as Australia, USA and the UK.

However, she and her team have developed a scale to assess pregnancy-related anxiety. They now need to look at the effectiveness of this in clinical settings and compare it against other methods, as well as do more research on interventions. “There is no point identifying women with pregnancy-related anxiety if we can’t help them,” said Dr Brunton.

Not only will this research offer much-needed help to mothers suffering from this type of anxiety, but it will also help the future wellbeing of the child. “I am also motivated by the fact that the woman’s body is the baby’s environment, so whatever happens to the mother (or is happening) can impact the child who is most vulnerable,” says Dr Brunton.

Reach out for help

In the meantime, Dr Brunton says that if any women are concerned that they are experiencing pregnancy-related anxiety, they should make an appointment to see their doctor or healthcare professional.

Women are also encouraged to reach out to organisations such as PANDA and Gidget Foundation Australia.

Get more info: Mental health services and support for expecting parents

Breastfeeding is hard work and the last thing any new mum needs is the not-so-helpful comments and advice of others. Elle, mother of triplets, recently posted a clip on TikTok to celebrate her ‘nurserversary’: six-months of feeding her three babies. And she shared with it the many negative comments people have offered over that time – all of which she took no notice of.

“Never doubt a determined mother”

Elle is in fact a mother of four who went for baby number two – and got three for the price of one. Her triplets were born at 29.5 weeks and spent 55 days in NICU. While this would have been a challenging time, Elle’s clip shows nothing but strength and determination with a collection of videos and photos of her breastfeeding journey so far. To top it off she has added the caption, “Feeding isn’t a one lane road. The message is never doubt a determined mother. Just let us feed our babies.”

@elle.plus.fourr

Feeding isn’t a one lane road. The message is never doubt a determined mother. Just let us feed our babies. #breastfeeding #fedisbest #triplets #fypシ

♬ What a time by Niall Horan and Julia Michaels – ana.tpwk

Why would you even say that?

While the clip shows Elle feeding her babies with great success, it also reveals the many negative things people have said to her over the past six months in regards to breastfeeding her triplets.

Comments such as “We don’t really see triplet moms breastfeed successfully breastfeed, but you can try” and “Being good bottle feeders will get them out of the NICU faster, I would stick with that.”

And unfortunately the list goes on:

• “Your hands are going to be way too full to pump.”
• “Can they really learn to latch after being on a feeding tube for so long?”
• “Is it really possible to make enough for all 3?”
• “I thought NICU babies only took bottles.”
• “But premmies don’t usually breastfeed.”
• “You’re never going to sleep again.”
• “They’re going to want you all the time.”

“You are amazing!”

The clip went viral with over 188,000 likes and nearly 1000 comments. Mothers everywhere offered their words of congratulations and support, in awe of a mum who has been working so hard for her many babies.

“Holy neck. That’s legendary! Good work Mumma,” said one viewer. Another said, “That freezer stash is the stuff of legends. You are seriously a champion!” while another commented, “That’s epic. Way to prove them all wrong.”

Other followers had managed to push through similar challenge such as one mother who said, “I was told I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed my daughter because she was a premmie. She latched instantly.”

Many others understood the trials of pumping and could appreciate just how much work was involved – especially as they were generally only pumping for one and not three. “Amazing!” said one. “I can’t even produce that much for my one premmie.” Another said, “I struggled (and failed) to nurse my NICU baby. I know the determination and hard work this took! Well done momma.”

What a super mum!

Elle was so overwhelmed by the many messages of love and support that she posted a follow-up video, thanking everyone, answering any questions and offering her own personal “milk tips”. For someone who says they’re “not naturally an overproducer” she has done an incredible job. And her final comment on her breastfeeding video explains a little of what has been keeping her going:  “Happy 6 month nurserversary, my little ones”.

Clearly, you should never tell a mother what she can and cannot do!

One thing you can’t do in life is choose your relatives, in particular your mother-in-law (MIL). And while many people have a great relationship with their MIL (me included), there are many who have not been so lucky. All grandparents want to be involved with the family’s newest member – but here are some MIL’s who well and truly crossed a line.

MIL secretly filmed the birth of our baby

One woman took to Reddit to vent about her MIL’s behaviour during the birth of her son. Her MIL kept making comments about being in the delivery room. The soon-to-be mum, who was 16 at the time and very much a people pleaser, laughed it off but never actually said no. Until she reached 30 weeks when she put her foot down.

“I finally (after getting hyped up by my mom and bf) grew a spine and told her I just wasn’t comfortable with anyone other than my mom or bf,” she wrote in the post. “She was veryyyyy disappointed and made me feel so guilty bc it was her first grannndddbbaaabyyyy *eye roll* but I stuck to it and said no, sorry.”

When the mum-to-be was induced, her MIL was in the waiting room with the rest of the family. She kept popping in to “see how things were going” until she finally didn’t leave. When it was time to push, the woman’s own mother noticed the MIL “hiding in the bathroom watching through a crack in the door.”

“I sat up so quickly my epidural tube came out of my back and tried so hard to close my legs that were literally pushing a child out but I forgot my legs didn’t work at the moment,” she said. “I scream at my bf to get her out and he has no idea what I’m talking about bc we were having a boy and he thought I meant the baby lol.”

Finally her boyfriend confronted his mother who had been videoing the finer details of the event. “He took her phone, threw it on the couch in my delivery room and shoved her out the door,” she says. “She tried to come back in for her phone and two security guards escorted her off the premises.”

The MIL got her phone back the next day but not before the new mum had deleted all the highly intimate birth footage captured without permission.

MIL changed spelling of our son’s name

Going through a C-section is one thing, but discovering that your mother-in-law changed the spelling of your newborn’s name while you’re in recovery is quite another. You wouldn’t think it possible, but one new mum found herself in this exact situation.

“I just discovered my husband spelled our son’s middle name as “Finlay” instead of “Finley” on all of his legal documentation,” she reported to Slate.

Apparently, her MIL “guilt-tripped” her son in to changing the spelling while she was recovering from the birth. “She tried to convince him to give our son a first name that I very much hated, saying that I would “get mad, but get over it”,” she said. “My husband thought changing his first name was too much but apparently gave in to spelling his middle name the way his mom wanted.”

The new mum is absolutely furious, and while she tries to work out how to deal with her MIL, one thing is for sure: “I will be legally changing my son’s name to the correct spelling.”

MIL ruined my son’s birth

Another mother reported on Reddit, that while her MIL never really liked her, the pregnancy made things a little better. “She was very excited for her first grandchild and we finally had something she would talk to me about,” she said.

However, things went downhill when her MIL kept asking her son if she could be in the delivery room. “That was a firm no and I didn’t think about it again really until she stormed into the delivery room 4 days ago,” wrote the new mum.

The woman was in labour when her MIL appeared out of nowhere. “I’m an incredibly shy and anxious person and I could not bring myself to ask her to leave myself,” she said. “I just have no balls. I know this is terrible. I presumed my partner would ask her to leave. He didn’t.” The women eventually told her partner to ask his mother to leave and while absolutely furious, the MIL did as she was told.

“Fast forward to an hour later, the baby was not coming out no matter how hard I pushed and things had started to get panicky in the delivery room,” she said. “I ended up on my hands and knees in the least dignified position and then MIL came back into the room. I was fucking mortified. Partner had to get her to leave again.”

The situation ended up in theatre with a traumatic forceps delivery and still her MIL kept trying to come in. And has been visiting everyday after the birth. “I’m anxious and vulnerable and I don’t want her around,” she said. “She keeps telling my partner I’m mean and horrible keeping her away from the baby.”

The new mum also feels that her MIL’s behaviour contributed to the difficult birth. “One of the midwives said to me after the birth that the reason the labour went so badly was probably a lot to do with how stressful I was finding it having MIL in the room when I didn’t want her there,” she said. “And honestly I feel like that’s true.”

While we all have our top favourites that we hope to use one day, no one really “owns” a name. But there are few things as disappointing than when someone close to you, such as a friend or family member, uses a baby name you had firmly set your heart on – and they knew it, too.

“My brother-in-law stole my baby name”

Two months before getting engaged, a woman chatted to her brother-in-law about baby names, revealing her favourites she’d picked nearly a decade earlier. “He said they were nice names but not something he would even name his kids,” she posted on Reddit.

However, after the woman got engaged, her brother-in-law’s behaviour changed. “He got all petty about his ‘little brother’ getting engaged before him, despite us being together for 4 years and him knowing my husband was planning on proposing … he also was not in a relationship.”

The women and her husband had postponed having a baby due to heath issues, and in the meantime, the brother-in-law met someone, proposed and got married in less than a year. They brother-in-law and new wife fell instantly pregnant. They sadly miscarried at 7 weeks.

“They immediately posted on Facebook about their miscarriage and named the baby one of our names (it can be gender neutral),” said the woman. “A name he knew was ours, and one he would never name the child had they not miscarried.”

The woman was devastated. And while many Reddit readers agreed that it was a difficult situation, they insisted she should still use the name. “Their baby was miscarried at only 7 weeks,” posted one reader. “Naming a baby at this point is not an official thing but more like a sentimental thing. You can still name your baby whatever you like.”

Another was equally adamant. “I’m assuming you and your husband are reducing your contact with him,” they wrote. “In the meantime there’s nothing from stopping you from still naming a future baby the name you want.”

What about a best friend?

One woman had a different experience – this time with a close friend. “Basically my best friend of 25 years had her baby in summer and gave him the name I’d told her I was going to use,” she posted on Mumsnet. “She had picked another name after her dad who passed away, but changed it a few days before her c-section then announced it publicly before telling me.”

The woman had a sentimental connection to the name and her friend had known that if she had a boy, that was her only pick. “She has no connection and used it because it’s ‘plain and simple for school and work’,” said the woman. “Her words, not because she liked it.”

Eventually the woman also gave birth to a boy and decided to still use the name. “I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t stick with it. It suits him perfectly and I’m happy I got to use it after all,” she said.

However the situation turned when everyone started accusing her of stealing her friend’s baby name. “Mutual friends are making comments such as ‘You stole [her] baby name’, ‘why didn’t you choose your own’ ‘are you trying to take away attention for their baby?’,” she said. “Not even a simple congratulations.”

Seriously, what can you do?

Whatever the situation, there’s not much that can be done, when someone uses one of your top favourite names. It may feel like the end of the world in the early days of motherhood, but life goes on.

Besides, you may not have anything to do with that person as your children grow up. As one Mumsnet reader commented, “In no time at all most of the people your son mixes with will be his friends from school rather than yours. At that point all of your friends will have forgotten the drama, as will you.” Excellent advice.

And despite feeling upset with the outcome, the woman whose friend used her name tried her best to put it all behind her. “I don’t want to fall out with anyone over it, after all no one owns a name. I just let it go,” she said.