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A lost blankie, lovie or teddy is a fear many parents know all too well.
Also known as a ‘transitional object‘, the toy provides a great deal of comfort to a child. So much so, they never want to be separated from it. EVER.
If lost, don’t even try to find a replacement because THEY WILL KNOW!
Despite the hassle that can come with a child having a comfort toy, the benefits are worth it.
Here’s what it means if your child has a blankie or a lovie.
In 1953, Dr Donald Woods Winnicott, a paediatrician and psychoanalyst, presented a paper called “Transitional Objects and Transitional Phenomena — A Study of the First Not-Me Possession.”
In it, he defined a transitional object as “any material to which an infant attributes a special value and by means of which the child is able to make the necessary shift from the earliest oral relationship with mother to genuine object-relationships.”
So the bear or blanket your child can’t part with is actually providing them with a little extra love and security.
“The baby knows the teddy bear is not Mum, but the baby can get a certain satisfaction. It is neither Mum nor totally just a stuffed animal,” Dr Steve Tuber, a clinical psychologist, and the author of a book on Winnicott, told The New York Times.
As well as providing love and security, comfort toys helps your little one develop the ability to form relationships with other people – who aren’t you.
Alicia Lieberman, an expert in infant mental health and a professor at the University of California, San Francisco, described the relationship with a transition object as “a bridge between the mother and the external world.”
As children get older, there’s a chance that the transitional object will develop into an imaginary friend, as well as a comforter. This can lead to further benefits.
In fact, past research found children with imaginary friends were less shy and were able to focus their attention better. Winning!
While society might have certain ideas about the age a child should ditch their comforter, experts say parents shouldn’t worry.
After all, adults become attached to objects too. That old jumper you like to wear to bed? There’s a reason why you can’t throw it away: it provides comfort. So it makes sense for babies to do the same.
If you’re looking for a specific age to wean your child from their comfort toy, an article for The Conversation says children usually grow out of them by the age of four.
The article adds that later research has continued to back up Winnicott’s beliefs in favour of transitional objects.
“One study found that kids with strong bonds to transitional objects have stronger attachment to a parent and are happier than those without,” writes the author.
However, “the same study showed that teens who still hold a strong attachment to a transitional object have poorer mental health.”
Another article says that however tempting it might be for parents to take the object away from their child, they should resist.
“If the self-appointed object is refuted, critiqued or denied in any way, attachment difficulties may arise later in life,” says the article.
“The object allows for and invites emotional well-being, and without such an object, true feelings may be concealed, suppressed, or dismissed as the infant/child has no other means by which to cope with, comprehend, and contend with the world.”
Whatever works, right!?
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