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By Bryony Sumner at Coasting Australia
I want to start this post by telling you some other people’s stories.
I have been lucky enough over the last 3 years to meet lots of families and have grown a strong network of mum friends. We have shared lots of cups of tea and coffee over the years and have often talked about our pregnancies and births. I have a friend who has had 4 elective c-sections, another who gave birth at home, one who had a vaginal birth followed by an emergency c-section, another who had an emergency then a planned c-section for her two. I know a girl who had a vaginal breech birth.
My first baby was born by emergency c-section, my second by a successful VBAC. If we are blessed with a third I have no idea what kind of birth I’d go for!
The reason I have started with these examples is to make a really important statement before talking any further about any birthing method. There is no ‘normal’ way. Every woman will have her own expectations, plan and hopes for her birthing experience and the absolute most important thing is the wellbeing of both mother and child, and that an environment of respect, communication and empathy is established and maintained between parents and birthing staff at all times.
No one should be forced into a decision they do not feel comfortable with. The main thing to remember is that you do have a say in your birthing experience.
However a VBAC is not for everyone – there could be valid medical reasons that make it inappropriate or unsafe and these should always be taken into account.
The decision that I made to have a VBAC came from a much researched and educated place and I spoke extensively to doctors, a doula and my midwife before making this decision.
I also had a plan B. I told my midwife that I was always happy to revert back to a C-section if the birth became in any way dangerous for me or my baby. A safe birth was my priority, and should be the first consideration with anyone who wants to attempt a VBAC too.
But this should not come from a place of fear.
When I went for my first doctor’s appointment for my second baby at 12 weeks, I had notes on my file stating I was a high risk, geriatric pregnancy. Geez these medical types know how to make a girl feel good!
The reason I was considered high risk was due to my first birth resulting in an emergency C-section, and my first baby being born at 4.5kg. The young doctor on duty that day at the hospital listened to my plans to have a VBAC and was supportive at first.
She told me she was just training and needed to check with the head of the department the hospital policies on VBAC and she disappeared through a door for 10 minutes. When she returned she looked chastised. She told me that the hospital were not supportive of a VBAC and could only recommend a planned C-Section.
I was confused. A few minutes before she had seemed keen to support me and now she had done a full turnaround. I felt like crying! When I asked what the problem was she told me the issue was the ‘macrosamia’ (big baby) and the previous emergency C-section. I was confused. Since when had big babies instantly meant C-section? I was a 4.5kg baby and my big brother was over 5kg. Neither of us were delivered by caesarean and I doubt it was ever mentioned during my mum’s pregnancies.
I can’t remember who it was that told me about the Midwife Group Practise (MGP) that had just started in our area. Fortunately I managed to get on the program and had already met with my midwife prior to my hospital appointment. She had already warned me the meeting might go this way and told me that I had a choice. If I had gone into this appointment unprepared I would have assumed the hospital were refusing to offer me a VBAC opportunity. It was only for my midwife that I realised that I had a choice, and gave me the confidence to walk out of the room still having options.
The MGP meant that I was assigned a midwife for my pregnancy who was a part of a team of 3 midwives and who would be there at my birth. If she was at another birth or unavailable when I went into labour then I would have one of her close colleagues there who I would have met and who knew my story. We also discussed at length all the things that were important to me and we had agreed on things over the weeks that were to happen during labour – my main one was that I had to ask for any drugs three times before she would agree to give them to me! These things are much easier to negotiate over a cup of tea than in the delivery suite!
This was all a far cry from my first birth experience – which lasted over a few days and involved about 6 different midwives, none of whom I had met before. It was not that my first birth was traumatic or negative or a bad experience – when I think back to it I only have loving memories of the days up to our first son being born, but for months after the birth I could not shake the feeling that I had ‘missed out’ on an important part of my journey.
During my pregnancy leading up to the C-Section, I did almost everything to prepare myself. I did a Hypnobirthing course and did pregnancy yoga for months before. I read a hundred books on birthing. I had acupuncture, chiropracty, massage and meditation in the lead up to my birth to ensure my body and mind were at their finest when the big day came.
I was well rested and fit as a fiddle for my first labour, yet after hours of drugs and waiting I was sent off to surgery for an ‘emergency’ C-section due to a ‘failure to progress’. When I first told my Doula this she chuckled and said she sees it a lot, and more often than not it is a case of ‘failure to wait’.
I managed to get the notes from my first labour when we were preparing for my VBAC and despite there being a few warning signs, there was nothing that urgently necessitated surgery. I can remember clearly the doctor at the time saying to me that the operating theatre was free. Baby was fine at the moment yet things could change quickly. The contractions had slowed and it could be a lot longer before he made his arrival – we could play the waiting game or we could go to the operating theatre and meet our little man within the hour.
When they put it like this it sounded like a no brainer – we signed the papers and off we went. It didn’t really feel like an emergency but we were tired and outnumbered and at this stage we were just happy to trust the doctors. Don’t get me wrong – I am grateful to the staff and the team that we had – at the end of the day we all left healthy and happy and there is no way to know how it would have turned out if we had waited – but I knew that the second time round it would be different.
And it was. I won’t go in to detail on either birth – there is no way to predict how your labour will progress, the sensations you will feel, the drugs you will respond to or the position you want to birth in. These things are all individual and will be as varied and unique as our babies themselves. But I believe there are things that will give you a better chance of achieving the birth you want so here’s a list of the things that helped me the most.
Finally, believe in yourself! You will always want what is best for you and your baby.
Trust yourself and your body, whatever has happened in the past does not necessarily predict the future.
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