How to prepare a toddler for the second baby
The moment those two pink lines showed up on the pregnancy test, I couldn’t contain my excitement. After multiple miscarriages before conceiving Cassie, I had learned to treat each and every pregnancy as a blessing to be shared right from the start.
I broke the 12-week taboo with a brand new personal record. I jumped straight onto my online support group (full of women I had met when I went through my miscarriages) and told them the news. They helped me plan the best way to share it with Chris.
In the end, I got Cassie to share the news with her daddy. It had been his birthday the day before, so together Cassie and I got crafting a belated Happy Birthday card with a little poem about our new addition inside. We gave it to Daddy as soon as he got home, and sure enough, he couldn’t believe it.
One month of trying, it felt like we had only just begun our trying to conceive journey and bam. This new baby would be due just a few weeks after Cassie’s birthday. Just two years apart. Things were going to get busy.
At the beginning of the pregnancy, I didn’t see much point trying to share with Cassie what was going on. She was still too little and apart from a positive pregnancy test, no other changes had taken place. It would mean nothing to her.
As time went on and we found out we were expecting our second little girl, I started setting up the new nursery and my bump began to grow. Visible things were starting to happen, so I decided it was time to start introducing the idea of a new sibling to Cassie.
We were halfway through. I started one day by telling Cassie there was a baby in my belly, pointing at my bump. Cassie loved this idea and soon everyone had a baby in their belly. Whenever someone asked her where the baby was, she would either lift her shirt and point to her own stomach, or run over to the person who asked and point to theirs. Turns out everyone was having a baby.
Now that we had eased her into the idea, I wanted to keep the ball rolling. I showed Cassie the space we were setting up for her little sister and we moved her old baby toys into the room.
At first, Cassie wasn’t so keen on the idea. She hadn’t played with these toys in about a year, and suddenly they were all new to her and she didn’t want to leave them for the baby. I didn’t push her – they were, after all, her toys. Eventually, she got bored of them on her own and would come into the room and point at the toys, telling me they were for the baby.
I loved watching the idea of a new sibling sink in on her own terms. Chris and I decided not to force the idea onto Cassie, but rather just let her get used to it. My belly then became the best toy in the bath as it got bigger and bigger. She would tip water down it and poke her finger into my belly button, telling me the baby was in there. It had finally switched on for her: the baby was just in my belly.
Dolls were another way we introduced the idea. Turns out, Cassie loves to play with her dolly. She has a newborn cousin, Charlie, and next thing we knew, her favourite dolly was being called this name. She loves Charlie so much and loves to cuddle him when she sees him – it’s beautiful to watch. I see her wrapping her dolly Charlie, rocking dolly Charlie in the pram and putting dolly Charlie to sleep. I can only hope she continues when her sister is here and can play mums with her baby while I play it with mine.
My final step in preparing Cassie is to take her to an obstetrician appointment with me. She can then see her sister on a scan. I think she is going to love it and I can’t wait to bring her along. Or she may just run amok in the office and I regret my decision. Either or, we will test it out.
In the end, there is only so much you can do to prepare for a new sibling. Given Cassie’s age, it’s not something I want to force onto her. I hope she understand a little, so it isn’t too big a shock when we bring home her baby sister.
Either way, I know we will have an adjustment period when she meets her new best friend.
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