“Mums: A return to the workplace” is by TellmeBABY mum and blogger Megan Harbrow. Find Megan on Instagram: @fromkayleytoparker
I always imagined myself as someone who may not handle the stay-at-home role well.
Yes, there would be ‘plenty to do’, but how would I cope not earning my own money? Would I miss adult conversation? Could I really watch childrens’ television all day? These were the questions I couldn’t answer until I was in the thick of motherhood (note: I could totally watch Disney movies all day way before becoming a mum, so I don’t know why I doubted myself!).
As it turned out, I loved being a stay at home mum! I could enjoy the good days, cope with the bad, and still get most of my ‘to do’ list done. Heck, I even taught myself how to cook! I had from January until December to soak up the blissful life of a new parent with a (thankfully) cruisey babe… until I suddenly didn’t.
Hubby was employed in the transport industry, an industry that is becoming more competitive with an increasing rate of casual staff. It was 11:30am when he rang to tell me he needed to be picked up that afternoon; he had no job as of 2:30pm. Cue allllll the emotions – confusion, disbelief, worry, sadness, and even anger. We waited a few days, but it was in vain, the contracts were gone and there was no work. I swallowed my pride and emailed my manager – I would need to return to work 4 months sooner than planned.
Let me say here that I am extremely fortunate to work in local government. My employer has a great flexible work arrangements policy. I went in for a meeting, babe in tow, and came home with a return date, plus the flexibility to negotiate my work hours. As the days ticked over, I rode that emotional rollercoaster like I was an adrenaline junkie! I went from content and even optimistic, to sobbing, fearing I was going to “miss out on everything”, and even becoming angry at my husband. Emotional? Yes. Rational? Ummm, not always (sorry, dear husband).
The day eventually came for me to return to work. I begrudgingly got dressed in clothes that were uncomfortable (ie. not shorts or trackies), and pulled on my shoes grimacing (how comfy are sneakers?!). I cried before I left, I cried as I left, I cried as I drove to work, and I cried when my mum sent me a good luck text. I eventfully composed myself and walked in the door. As everyone else filtered in, I was greeted with such warmth and support that I finally felt like I could get through that first day. The fact that a double choc chip muffin miraculously appeared on my desk may have helped!
It has been a massive learning curve for both my husband and myself. He has had to learn a lot, including how to entertain an infant without sending yourself bonkers, and I have had to learn a fair bit too – like how to let go of the day-to-day running of the household. In hindsight, it has done us a world of good. We have a stable and secure income, we have developed a much deeper appreciation of each other’s role, and the bond I have seen form between my boys just melts me. They send me pictures during the day showing me what antics they are up to, and whilst I would give anything to be home again, things are getting easier.
If you are faced with returning to work earlier than you had planned, I highly recommend the following:
1. Speak openly with your employer – Discuss the possibility of adjusting your hours, even just during that initial return period. I am lucky enough to be able to work a condensed week where I work my regular hours over 4 days instead of 5.
2. Vent – For the good of yourself and your family. Talk to your girlfriends, cry to your mum, rant to your mum-friends… Hold on tight and ride that rollercoaster!
3. Count your blessings – I had to take a step back and be thankful for what I had, having already had more time than a lot of mums to be home with my little boy, a hubby who I knew could handle his new role, loving friends and a supportive workplace.
4. Eat all the chocolate
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