Oh baby! Is it time for postpartum sex?

It might be the last thing on your mind post-baby (or it might not), but new parents often wonder when they can get “back in the saddle”, so to speak. Trying to get pregnant is all about sex – but what about after you’ve had the baby?

We had a chat to Hannah Willsmore on a recent TMB Facebook Live to get the low down on postpartum sex.

How long do I wait?

After having a baby, before you even so much as think about sex, your body needs time to recover physically. “Generally we would recommend really waiting until your six week check,” says Hannah. “So that might be with your GP, it might with your midwife or your obstetrician, just to make sure that everything is okay.” Apart from anything else, your cervix is still open for a few weeks after birth, which is a major consideration. “There is that risk of bacterial infection and things like that,” says Hannah. “So generally we recommend waiting six weeks.”

No pressure

An important factor to consider is how you’re actually feeling. “If you’re not feeling ready at six weeks, don’t feel like you need to,” says Hannah. “A lot of women do need more time, whether they’ve had a tear or whether they’ve had any of that kind of physical recovery that’s needed from the birth.” While Hannah sees people who do feel ready at six weeks, there are also many who definitely don’t feel up to it. “I would say a lot of people probably aren’t ready at six weeks,” she says. The other issue is that, since the birth, things have rapidly changed and your old life may feel light years away. “Your life is different,” says Hannah. “You’re working on broken sleep, you’re probably more tired than you were before.”

Where has my libido gone?

There’s so much go on during post partum and one major and very time-consuming activity is breastfeeding. Not only does it take a while to get breastfeeding up and running, but also for a lot of women, it actually does lower their libido quite a lot. “Again, don’t put that pressure on yourself and think, ‘Right six weeks and therefore we’re good to go’,” says Hannah. “Just take it slow and work with your body.”

Don’t forget contraception

If you are raring to go, take a moment to consider your contraception options. And even if you’re not considering it just yet, Hannah suggests that it’s worth having a think about it what you have in mind.

“You can get pregnant quite quickly after having a baby, and we do see that happen,” she says. “So just maybe have a conversation with your care provider around your options, what you may be do or don’t want to use.” This could be different to what you were using before and may change if you’re breastfeeding. “If you’re breastfeeding some things we don’t recommend using afterwards,” says Hannah. “But there are plenty of options.”