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By Kell Kelly
We’ve all been there. It is frustrating, embarrassing and of course upsetting.
As time goes on, you will begin to realise that there may be only a few seconds (minutes if you’re lucky) to defuse a toddler tantrum. Toddlers can go from slightly frustrated to arms and legs being thrown around on the ground in just moments. Oh the joys!
Remember: toddler tantrums happen to everyone.
We all know deep down that toddlers throw tantrums because they struggle to communicate. We also know how frustrating it can be when all of your efforts to calm them down only add fuel to the fire. But what if there were ways you could defuse the situation BEFORE it becomes a full blown toddler tantrum?
Here are a few tips that could help you and your toddler:
Keep an eye on the common triggers: being tired, hungry or thirsty. Recognising these and dealing with them first (where possible) will save you and them a lot of frustration. You might notice your little one is getting tired. Perhaps they are cutting out their naps and don’t know how to cope with this tired feeling. If sleeping is not an option where you are, you can calm them or do something less energetic like reading books or colouring. Otherwise, try a snack or drink. Yes, even little kids can get ‘hangry’!
More often than not, toddlers throw tantrums because they don’t think you understand them. Acting out or throwing a tantrum is how they display their frustration. To avoid this, empathise with them and explain that you know they are disappointed or annoyed over the situation, then give them a solution to the problem.
Just like you, sometimes space goes a long way. When a mum or dad is trying to ‘fix’ the problem, it could be that they are the cause of the tantrum. If you suspect that your child needs some time by themself, simply ask them if they would like to be left alone for a little while. By giving them this choice, they will learn that it is okay to want this.
We all have bad days, or wake up grumpy – after all, it happens to adults, so why not children? Some days they just need cuddles, other days they just need space. This is okay. The good news is that after a nap or a change of activity they can sometimes turn into a totally new, happier child.
It can be very trying when your toddler throws a tantrum, but if you get worked up and annoyed you’ll only making the situation worse. Your child is emotional and they can sense you when are stressed, overwhelmed and irritated. While it is easier said than done, try and stay calm: practice deep breathing, block the noise for moment, and be their port of calm in their storm.
We can all relate to the embarrassment of your toddler throwing a tantrum in public. All eyes are on you and it feels like people are judging. Keep in mind that some people are actually on your side – they’ve been there before! – and are cheering you on silently.
And remember … you know your child better than anyone, and if anyone can defuse a toddler tantrum, it’s you!
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