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It’s every parent’s worst nightmare, but the reality is – it can happen to anyone.
A mum has taken to Reddit to ask for advice after her husband forgot their baby boy was in the back seat of his car.
“My husband and I have been married for about two and a half years. He’s a great guy. Helps with the kids, I’m a full-time student, and he helps with everything. Fully supports me going to school and is just a great husband and dad,” she writes.
“This morning, he was taking our son to daycare (he goes three half days a week so that I can have some quiet time to study) and I called him about an hour after he left the house. He tells me that he got all the way to the office before realising that Ben was in the backseat.”
Her husband told her that he was on the phone with a client and forgot all about Ben. Luckily, Ben made a noise before his dad got out of the car and was driven to daycare.
“I was livid,” said the mum. “What if he hadn’t made a noise??! We live in the desert of the southwest. Like hot as balls, 117 degrees (47°C), fry bacon on your dashboard hot!”
What the mum was really worried about was her husband’s casual attitude to the situation.
“He thinks it wasn’t a big deal. He realised he was back there and all was fine. But I’m worried about this happening again, what if Ben had fallen asleep? Do I have to call my husband ten minutes after he leaves the house to make sure Ben was dropped off?”
Commenters on Reddit sympathised with the mum and offered some advice.
One user asked: “Can you frame it to your husband as, ‘I’m not so much mad at you as I am desperate to figure out how we can never have this happen again, because you just proved that it could happen to anyone?'”
This change in tact is a probably a good idea. Even though the dad’s attitude seems casual, maybe it’s a case of not being able to think about what could have happened, and how devastating that would have been.
Another Redditor said, “Any one of us could do it. It scares me to even think about. I started leaving my purse in the back seat with the baby when I had my next one.”
One parent summed up why kids are sometimes forgotten, and it makes so much sense.
“Tragedies like this happen because your brain defaults to a routine when it shouldn’t,” they said.
“I forced myself to develop the habit of putting my purse (a phone, wallet, or something you always need when you’re out) in the back seat every time I get in the car, whether the kids are with me or not.
“I only retrieve it by opening the back door when I get out of the car instead of reaching back to get it without looking. Now, my automatic routine is to look in the back seat, every time, instead of having to remember to move a bear or a shoe only in specific situations.”
Twelve years ago, Professor Jodie Edwards left her 11-month-old baby, Jenna, in the car all day. She didn’t realise Jenna was there until she was driving home at the end of the day. Very sadly, her baby died.
Jenna, who also has a son, shared some of the prevention strategies with Today’s Parent in the hopes of helping other tired and distracted parents.
“I always make sure to put something I need in the backseat: my purse, my briefcase, my wallet, my phone.
“Have an ironclad agreement with your caregiver, that he or she will call until they reach you if ever you fail to show up with your child.
“I keep a bracelet in my car seat. Whenever I put a child in their car seat, I put it on. I don’t take it off until they are dropped off. Check the backseat before leaving your vehicle – every time.”
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