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How To Survive The First Few Weeks Of Motherhood – by Flick Frankish of The Baby Vine.
Thinking back to those first few weeks of motherhood and everything seems to be a blur to me now. I don’t think anything truly could have prepared me for the shock that bringing a newborn into our home would have on our family. Sure, I had read all the books, received plenty of advice from well-meaning friends and family, and had years of babysitting and nannying experience behind me to boost my confidence. But then all of a sudden I was holding my newborn little girl in my arms and I have never felt so alone and helpless. Here are some tips I learned as a first-time mum to help you through those beginning weeks:
It doesn’t mean you are a bad mother. It doesn’t mean you love your child any less. It means you are human and you have a surge of hormones pouring through you after the birth that are fighting to break free. Chris would come home in those first few weeks and find me bawling on the couch. He would rush over to check on me and ask how the baby had been, as I choked back, “fine”. Everything was fine. Cassie had been an angel, I had made it through the day. But the baby blues are a real thing and you need to embrace them and not feel ashamed.
Wherever and whenever you can get it. I introduced a bottle for Cassie after a week as my supply had dropped so much. This is what worked for us and may not work for others. Chris started giving her that last feed each night (around 10pm) while I escaped for some extra sleep. It was a lifesaver. My mum would also take Cassie for a couple of hours during the day so I could enjoy some more sleep. Friends would pop over and cuddle Cassie and ask if there was anything they could do. I always said yes. There was always something, even if it was just to mind the baby while I jumped in the shower.
No-one can truly understand what you are going through like a bunch of women going through the exact same thing. I still regularly catch up with my mothers’ group and don’t know what I would have done without them in those early days. Who else can you chat about baby poo, spew, breastfeeding and late night feeds with? Who else can you whine to when your baby won’t stop crying? These things happen and having other mothers who know what you are going through can be the best support ever.
If breastfeeding doesn’t feel right: ask for help. If you don’t think your baby is drinking enough, ask for help. If you are concerned about anything, ask for help. We have a wonderful community of midwives and professionals ready to help you with any questions you may have. Don’t feel like you have to do it all blindly. Pop into one of your local health centres or ring up your GP. They are there to listen and help you out and no question is too insignificant.
It starts early. You look at other mums with sleeping babies and wonder if you are doing something wrong. You see other babies starting to roll and wonder if your little one is behind. Don’t do it to yourself. Enjoy your baby and know that every baby is different, so treat them that way. Your little one may take longer to roll but they may say their first word before anyone else. Each child develops at their own pace and what works for one mum, may not be the answer for you.
Just remember, you only get to be a first-time mum once. If you decide to go back for a second baby, things will be very different. You will have another child to think about and look out for. There is something very special about being a first-time mum and you need to make sure you enjoy the moments. I will always cherish those first few months with Cassie and how much I was able to sit back and just stare at my baby and take the time out from housework to be with her and to enjoy the little things. It’s time I will never get back that was very well spent.
Those first few weeks of motherhood aren’t easy, for anyone. Even if that well-dressed, non-tired mum from your mothers’ group, she is probably going through her own struggles. Never feel like you are alone, there are plenty of people who are there to help you out and even just be a shoulder for you to rest on when things get tough. Motherhood isn’t easy and you are doing a fantastic job.
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