The first 12 weeks after your baby is born, also known as the postpartum period or fourth trimester, is a massive time of emotional and physical change. It’s also a time when you hear a lot information and advice about what you should and shouldn’t do, not all of which is completely accurate.
On a recent Facebook Live for TMB TV, brought to you by Modibodi Reusable Nappies we chatted to midwife and lactation consultant Hannah Willsmore, who helped to dispel common postpartum myths.
Many mums feel they should bond with their baby right from the very start, but it doesn’t always happen this way. “Not everyone notices this instant amazing connection with their baby as soon as they’re born,” says Hannah. “Often mums put a lot of pressure on themselves to feel that straightaway, but it might take a little bit of time for that to develop.”
You’ve only just given birth to your baby, which is a huge achievement in itself. There’s a lot going on so bonding with your little one may take longer than expected. “Sometimes it just takes a little bit of time to come back into things and really get to know your baby because they’re new and you’re new at being a parent,” says Hannah.
Another myth to quickly dispel is that breastfeeding helps achieve your pre-baby weight or body. While it’s true that breastfeeding burns up a few calories as your body works hard to make breast milk, this doesn’t mean your body will necessarily bounce back.
“We need to move that focus away from trying to get your body back, or trying to get back to this pre-baby body or weight because your body has just grown another human, another person, so it’s going take some time,” says Hannah. “I think we just need to drop that expectation, there’s so much else to worry about in the fourth trimester, even in the first year after your baby is born.”
This is where mums have to to take it easy and not pressure themselves. They’re suddenly caring for a baby and sometimes that’s more than enough to deal with.
Mums also put pressure on themselves to return to normal life as soon as possible, getting out to cafes or shopping centres, catching up with friends or doing exercise. The fact is that this all takes time and during postpartum your hands are already full with looking after your baby.
“I think mums feel guilty that they’re not able to cook every night or have the house tidy or get back into exercise or even things like being able to go to a cafe two weeks after your baby’s born,” says Hannah. “I know a lot of women who just wouldn’t feel comfortable with that at that point, they wouldn’t be comfortable feeding and maybe they’re having some issues with latching and they’ve got the hang of it in a certain chair in their house, but they feel like they should be getting out and about.”
This is where Hannah explains to women that there is no rush to do any of these things, rather put the focus on the needs of the baby. “In that first six weeks, just thinking, okay, this is a time for me to rest and recover, to get to know our baby and to learn about them and their little habits and the different cries and what they need and to connect as a family as well,” she says. “That might be with your partner, it might be with other support people, just really focusing on that and letting the other stuff go.”
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