“Feelings of doom”: the breastfeeding condition not many mums know about

For many mums, breastfeeding comes with a lovely hit of oxytocin, but for others, it can trigger feelings that can be described as truly horrific.

Speaking to Tell Me Baby, new mum Carin described the sadness she feels while breastfeeding her 8-week-old baby as an “intense feeling of doom.”

“I have an intense feeling of doom and immense sadness surrounding the doom,” she explains. 

“Best I can describe it is if you were told you had a week to live but had just had a baby and you realise you will miss every part of their lives. It’s a bone deep feeling.

“It makes me very uncomfortable, and sometimes I cry while he’s feeding as I feel like the world’s ending.”

After some googling, Carin realised she’s not alone; there’s actually a name for this condition.

What is dysphoric milk ejection reflex?

The condition is known as dysphoric milk ejection reflex, or D-MER, and not many people know about it. 

However, awareness is spreading – thanks to people like Carin sharing their stories online. 

So what is D-MER, exactly?

“Dysphoric milk ejection reflex is a condition affecting lactating women that is characterised by an abrupt dysphoria, or negative emotions, that occur just before milk release and continuing not more than a few minutes,” says the D-MER website. 

It adds: “Dysphoria is defined as an unpleasant or uncomfortable mood, such as sadness, depressed mood, anxiety, irritability, or restlessness. Etymologically, it is the opposite of euphoria.”

But not every woman’s experience of D-MER is the same. An article published in The Conversation points out that it’s “variable” for those who experience it.

“D-MER is a spectrum. Some women may experience rage while others become anxious or despondent. Experiences of D-MER also appear to differ both in their severity and duration.

“For some, D-MER is mild and resolves in a few weeks. For others, symptoms can last for more than a year.”

It’s also important to mention that D-MER is a physical response and is not psychological. This means the breastfeeding mumma can’t talk herself out of it. 

What causes D-MER?

What causes this intense physical response when breastfeeding?

An article published in the International Breastfeeding Journal says dopamine plays a big part.

“The authors suggest that an abrupt drop in dopamine may occur when milk release is triggered, resulting in a real or relative brief dopamine deficit for affected women.”

What’s worse, the article says it’s “a breastfeeding problem for which affected mothers seem only rarely to seek or receive help.”

Help! I think I am experiencing D-MER

If any of this sounds familiar to you, talking with a healthcare professional can help. 

According to the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA), lifestyle changes might help women who experience mild to moderate symptoms of D-MER. 

“For some women, being aware of what D-MER is helps them cope with the symptoms,” says the ABA website. “Distraction helps some women cope with the condition too (e.g. eating while breastfeeding).”

“Also, avoiding factors which may worsen the symptoms (e.g. stress, dehydration, and caffeine) can help some women.”

Unsurprisingly, a lack of sleep can make D-MER symptoms worse for some.

If you are experiencing extreme D-MER, the ABA says to speak to your doctor about a herbal supplement.  

How long does D-MER last?

While Carin says the overwhelming feelings haven’t gotten any easier for her, knowing that she isn’t alone has made her feel a bit better. 

And the good news for some women is that D-MER can self-correct by three months postpartum. 

“Symptoms of D-MER may decrease by 3 months postpartum or they may continue throughout the breastfeeding period,” says the ABA. “Regardless of how long it lasts, most mothers do find that D-MER seems to get easier to manage as their baby gets older.”

If you are experiencing symptoms of D-MER, make an appointment to see your GP or another healthcare professional. 

For more information and support call:

• Australian Breastfeeding Association Breastfeeding Helpline: 1800 686 268.
• PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) National Helpline (Mon to Fri, 9am – 7.30pm AEST/AEDT) Call 1300 726 306