I wish I’d embraced being pregnant more

“I wish I’d embraced being pregnant more” by Maxabella

There’s a really nice thing many pregnant Instagrammers do that I wish I’d done too. They take a picture of their bump each month and share and celebrate the moment. Everyone falls all over themselves to gush and squeal in the comments about how wonderful they look and how amazing it is that they are five, six, seven months along already. I think that’s marvellous.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was so busy trying to prove that I could still do all the things, that I didn’t really acknowledge my pregnancy at all. I pushed through the tiredness and the niggles and the worries, and life went on pretty much as it always had, just with less Brie and more folate.

My husband tried to fuss over me, doing all the sweet things that men do for their pregnant wives. He’d bring me books and chocolates and ask if I wanted a back massage. He’d rush to stand when I entered a room, determined that I should get the best seat and would I like a cup of peppermint tea with that? I’d swat him away for being old-fashioned and fussy and (most likely) give him a lecture on feminism and the rights of pregnant women to be treated like non-pregnant women. Actually, I’m surprised and grateful that he went on to have two more pregnancies with such a killjoy. Thanks, honey.

It didn’t end with berating the husband for noticing I was pregnant, either. On the morning bus or train I’d elect to stand, despite being offered a seat. An unsafe thing to do when you think about it, and possibly a foolish one too. I swear women like me are probably responsible for no one ever offering a pregnant woman a seat ever again.

Every day I would walk home from work, about seven kilometres through the city, across the park and through the back streets. I loved the walk before I was pregnant and I was determined that I would continue to love the walk, no matter how enormous my cankles became or how tired my legs. I walked home from work three days before I gave birth. And yes, I worked up until three days before I gave birth.

I should have done more 

There’s not a week that goes by in my life as a mum of three where I don’t want to smack my first-time pregnant self. I want to make myself go back and take those proud bump photos, accept the massages and the seats, take a taxi and put my feet up, doing nothing simply because I can. I would sit in the most comfortable chair in the house and tell everybody that comes to see me that I won’t be getting up today because I’m seven months pregnant and I’m very busy right now building a baby.

The sad thing is, I can never go back. I can never get that time back again. Mums never, ever get that time back again. We race through the pregnancy to get to the baby and it’s only after the baby arrives that we think oh. We might try to replicate the Amazing Pregnant Woman thing in our second and subsequent pregnancies, but it’s never the same. Nothing is amazing when you’ve got a toddler using your belly as a drum or poking you out of bed at 5am because hello morning, it’s ON.

Our first pregnancy is a beautiful gift, you see. It’s the last time in our life when it’s going to be all about you. The last time anyone mentions how cute we are, how clever we are, how much we’ve grown and how well we’re taking care of ourselves. After that first pregnancy comes kids and then it’s all about the kids from that moment on forever and ever for all eternity the end.

So my advice to first-time pregnant mums out there is to wallow in it. You are pregnant and you are amazing, so expect everyone to worship you for nine whole months. Get all the attention and care you can possibly squash in because this is your moment, lady.

Here are six things I would do today if I was first-time pregnant again

1. Take a daily progress photo: I would make one of those sped-up videos that show you growing and glowing. (And PS, you’re not fat, you’re pregnant.)

2. Request a seat on public transport: Ask anyone who looks more comfortable than you, i.e. everyone. You are pregnant, and they are not.

3. Accept all offers of back massages: Also foot massages and head massages. In fact, book in for them regularly.

4. Put your feet up whenever you feel the need: After your baby arrives, you will never again get to put your feet up just because it pleases you. So please do that now.

5. Allow yourself to be spoiled and fussed over: By your husband, your mum, your friends, the bus driver. Whoever has some fuss to give, allow them to give it.

6. Mention your pregnancy often: Just so people can gush and tell you how wonderful you are. Once you have a baby, you may feel that you exist as the baby’s feeding apparatus (or not at all), so bask in the limelight while you can.