Why I don’t feel guilty about sending my child to daycare by Sara Keli at kidmagazine.com.au
I had my sunglasses at the ready on the first day I dropped my daughter at daycare. I knew I would cry. The tears were threatening as she stood beside a backpack nearly as big as her on the front deck before we left home. We made it through the door, I passed her to her new teacher, and as the door clicked behind me the first tear fell.
I was sad. My baby was growing up and moving on to new adventures without me. I was sad to say goodbye to our seemingly endless days together. Sharing my sadness with other mums I so often heard things like, “it makes you feel so guilty, doesn’t it” or “the mummy guilt never gets any easier”. Sad I was, but guilty I was not.
The emotions I was feeling came from a selfish place. I was going to miss my constant companion. And like any parent, I just wanted to find the secret pause button so I could enjoy those special moments with my girl for just a little bit longer.
In those first days, and in the three years since, I have never once felt a drop of guilt about sending her to daycare. Yet it seems that the expectation is that I am riddled with guilt. “But she’s just so little” or “why do you want to pass her off so soon” are just two of the phrases that I have been confronted with. The reality is that it has been the best decision for both of us.
For me, I have been able to use the time to work. I love each and every minute of the work that I do in my business and I feel so fortunate to be able to do what I do. I find work so fulfilling and I am a better mum when I can take that time out to build my skills and grow my business. I can even drink hot cups of tea and go to the toilet alone – bliss!
And for my daughter, I can’t even capture the benefits that she has experienced from going to daycare. She has developed social skills through some beautiful friendships, which bring her much joy. Her educators have been amazing and knowing that she has these special people looking out for her while she is there fills me with so much happiness. She knows all the planets of the solar system, is learning to write and recognise the alphabet, has had visits from all of the emergency services and receives Mandarin lessons each week.
I love how she hugs her friends and teachers goodbye and holds my hand as we walk to the car. I love listening on our drive home in the afternoon as she excitedly tells me about all the fun things she has done that day. Sure we have days where she wakes up and doesn’t want to go to school, but who doesn’t have those days?
While I wish I could take all of the credit for her confidence, intelligence and kindness, I don’t doubt that attending daycare has played a huge role in this. Guilt has never entered my mind as something I should be feeling. My youngest daughter will soon be starting at daycare with her sister and I know our family will once again be all the richer for it, once I wipe my tears after the first drop off that is.
Sara Keli is the Editor and Chief Kid of Kid Magazine, a digital magazine and blog full of inspiration and empowerment for mums to help them find more time for the fun stuff with their kids. She lives in Sydney with her husband and two daughters and when she isn’t writing, designing or creating she can be found enjoying the sunshine in the backyard or escaping into a good book.
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