Yes, I know my daughter needs a sibling

“Yes, I Know My Daughter Needs a Sibling” is a guest post by Kate Tunstall at The Less-Refined Mind.

Yes, I know my daughter needs a sibling.

But thanks for reminding me. Again.

I can’t help but wonder – what reaction were you anticipating? Did you genuinely expect something along the lines of ‘Oh! Silly me – I’ve been so busy with my toddler I’ve not stopped to consider the (inevitable) sibling! Thanks though, I’ll get right onto it – let me just call hubby!’?

Do you honestly imagine I’ve not considered it? Or, maybe, do you think I have – but a nudge is clearly required, and you’re the perfect person for the job?

What if I’ve deliberated, but finally come to the painful decision that it’s not right for our family? Are you the right person to convince me I should reconsider?

It’s such a profoundly personal and difficult decision. I was once of the naïve opinion that after your first baby you may as well crack on with the next. But I now know better; and, if you’ve had a family yourself – perhaps you should too.

However, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. In case you’re truly oblivious to just exactly how hurtful your comments may be to those you foist your unsolicited suggestions upon, here’s a list of some of the very legitimate issues only-child families may be facing:

I’m Traumatised

During my first pregnancy I was anxious about giving birth. I was also ignorant, and naively tried very hard to remain positive and zen. I focused on the possibility that perhaps it wouldn’t be quite as dreadful as I feared.

But it was worse.

Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong: I nearly lost my mind from the pain; I nearly lost my baby. The very thought of intentionally putting myself through that again is enough to induce unbearable anxiety. Of course I feel guilty for that, but each time I close my eyes and imagine the delight of holding another infant in my arms, the fear and panic sets in. Bottom line: I just can’t.

Click here to read the rest of Kate’s candid post

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