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5 Ways to Make New Mum Friends – by Fi Morrison, Mumma Morrison
We’ve all heard the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”, and it couldn’t be more accurate. Children flourish amongst the love and support of numerous adults in their lives. Each offering unique experiences, perspectives and strengths. However, what about the love and support that the mothers need? Why is there less emphasis on the importance of surrounding a new mother with the experiences, perspectives and strengths of other mothers?
As a new mum myself, I have found the encouragement of other new mothers crucial to my sanity as I’ve navigated the murky waters of motherhood. It is a friendship forged on the frontline of poo explosions, countless vomits, endless feedings, and sleep deprivation. We can send messages at 3am to our Facebook Group asking where the local 24/7 Chemist is (guilty!) and know that at least one other mum will be awake to read and respond. It has helped me to survive almost a year of motherhood.
But I think I have taken my motherhood friendships for granted. I never realised that it might be hard for new mums to connect with others until I met a wider network of mothers, who shared their stories. Stories of mother’s groups that didn’t ‘click’ (which was the opposite for us!), living remotely away from family, friends, and support. So today I’m going to share some of the top ways I’ve found to make new mum friends, so you can find your village.
This group of girls that I met when my son was 2 weeks old still meet weekly. We all get along extremely well, and have just started planning a joint 1st birthday party for our babies. As I previously mentioned, not all mother’s groups ‘click’, so if this is the case I’d like to encourage you to visit a few different local mother’s groups if you have the option. As we moved when my son was 3 weeks old, I visited another Mother’s Group in my local area as we had a few options around us, but it was a group that didn’t gel. I went back to my initial group and haven’t looked back since! We created a Facebook Group to organise weekly coffee outings, ask our questions and get encouragement when we need it. To this day this has been my number one support as a new mother. To connect with your local mother’s group, when the Health Care Nurse visits you and your newborn baby at home (within their first week), they should provide you with the list of local mother’s groups. If not, ask for it!
For the mothers who have been unable to connect with their local mother’s group, there is an Australia-wide initiative called Babes + Picnics aiming to bring mothers together for support and encouragement. Babes + Picnics are set up over 30 locations across Australia, so there is a big chance that there is a location in your general vicinity. They meet once a month at an agreed location, so you can meet a whole bunch of local mums. One of the great things about Babes + Picnics is that they aim to give back to the community, so each month they will choose an organisation that the mums give a (material) donation to. For example, supporting the Nappy Collective by donating unused nappies to their nationwide collection. To find your local Babes + Picnics venue, search in Facebook under “Babes + Picnics Australia”.
This obviously comes with fair warning that not all groups are supportive, or helpful, for new mums. Choosing a Facebook group for motherhood support requires a certain amount of discretion. However there are some great Facebook support groups where you can ask your questions and find meaningful relationships with other mums. A lot of the time, finding these groups is usually by word of mouth. So ask your family or friends if they know of any good mum Facebook groups out there. (Personally, I love “Find Your Village”!)
Playgroups operate all across Australia to bring families together in a safe and fun environment. If you are new to an area or don’t know many mums, try searching for a local Playgroup to connect with. They are a wonderful opportunity for your child/ren to socialise with others. As well as give you meaningful connections with other local mums as well. A lot of friends and family I know who have attended Playgroups say that those were the relationships that lasted for them.
There are many local exercise groups that offer mums and bubs classes. For example local yoga studios, or even the amazing Kangatraining (which I love!). If you’d like to meet some other mums who share an interest in fitness, connect with them at a baby friendly class. That way you can socialise and exercise along with your bubs as well!
Of course, there are so many other opportunities to meet new mum friends – libraries, churches, local festivals and events, even at the local shopping centre. There really is a village out there to help you raise your child to be the best they can be. However, what if the quote ran more along the lines of “it takes a village to support a mother to raise her child?”. That way, we could emphasise the importance of the relationships we build with other mothers as well as their children.
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