Let mothers do their jobs
Let Mothers Do Their Jobs is a Guest Post by Fi Morrison, Mumma Morrison
Being a mother is by far the toughest “job” I have ever had. As a mother, I have to cover a multitude of roles on a daily basis. I’m a teacher, doctor, psychologist, librarian, friend, accountant, taxi-driver, entertainer, chef, nurse, cleaner, dentist …. The list goes on.
There is no sick leave. Forcing me to watch ABC Kids on repeat with a 9 month old in my bed so I can stop from being sick everywhere. No holiday leave. Unless you are fortunate enough to have some great babysitting available!. Motherhood is hard, and lately I’ve found the support mothers receive to be less than adequate.
Let Mothers Do Their Jobs
It first started a couple of months ago, when I (well actually, the whole internet) read an article by Miranda Devine insinuating that working women were bad mothers. This infuriated many working mothers who work out of necessity, or who enjoy their work as a creative and independent outlet. While I don’t feel the desperate urge to leap back into my work, I do feel the overwhelming need to have a sense of self and autonomy. Plus I really feel for mothers who need to work to make ends meet – how come their perspectives weren’t shared in this article?
Then, a couple of weeks later, there was another news report, this time stating that stay at home mothers were an untapped economical resource and should be encouraged to go back to work. Within the space of a few weeks, us mothers were attacked from both sides. I don’t even want to begin contemplating the flack working at home mothers would receive.
So why are mothers getting the raw end of the deal?
Why does it even matter what mothers do? When I first read these two opposing articles, I felt like yelling aloud (besides a bunch of words I shouldn’t be saying!). “Just let mothers do their job!” Let us get on with the task of raising our children – completing the myriad of roles we are already required to do without having to justify ourselves for any of it.
Last week, my boy was 9 months old. This really brought home the reality that my decision to go back to work is drawing closer. Our mother’s group is currently aflutter with conversations about returning to work or staying at home, with many mums divided over the topic. Some mums are looking forward to adult company and uninterrupted cups of coffee (or toilet breaks). Others can’t imagine being separated from their bubs (separation anxiety, right here!) and are enjoying the endless baby days. But all mums can agree that there are pros and cons to both choices.
What I don’t think many people understand is that there are a range of reasons behind a mother’s choice to go back to work or not, as I am now beginning to understand. As a mother who would personally prefer to stay at home, I have to go back to work because money (apparently) does not grow on trees. I was quite affronted – and frankly upset – by Devine’s article suggesting working mothers are bad mothers, because it is tapping directly into the mum guilt and fears I already have. Not only that, but articles and sensationalised media such as this warps the public’s perceptions of mothers, creating another audience pitted against us mums.
In saying all this, I know that the majority of people reading this post will be mums – that I don’t need to be saying these things to you because, well, you’re the mothers who are the subject of this article. But I want to encourage you with these two things.
What we should be doing
Firstly, open up conversations with friends and family who aren’t mothers about your decisions and your life as a mother. Be honest and open about the highs and lows of motherhood. You don’t need to justify your reasons for going to work or staying at home. You decide what is best for your family. Encourage them to support you and be on your side against those who want to belittle mothers and the amazing job that we do raising little people.
Secondly, as mothers, we need to continue to encourage and support each other in our decisions. Motherhood is tough enough in itself, let alone the endless amount of mum guilt that surrounds us. Our journey is fraught with obstacles and judgment around every bend. What can get us through is the unity of motherhood. If we continue to listen to each other; offer helpful advice, tips, and encouragement; go out for a walk or a coffee; share in the ups and downs of motherhood; then it doesn’t matter what the general population might think of us. If we have our “tribe”, “village” or “community”, then we can get on with our jobs and be mothers – no matter whether we are working or staying at home.
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