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By Livia Gamble
Image: Juggling the Jenkins Facebook/Instagram
A mum has shared a candid look at what life was like before she was diagnosed with postnatal depression.
Tiffany Jenkins, the mum behind Juggling The Jenkins Facebook page, recently described how she felt after giving birth to her second child – and it has since gone viral.
“I did not like my children when this photo was taken,” Tiffany writes in her essay, which was posted alongside a picture with her two children.
“I actually resented them for existing. Kaiden was 17 months old and Chloe, one month, and I didn’t want to be their mother.”
Tiffany says that most days she wanted to leave them in their cots, run away and never come back.
“I know that some of your jaws are hanging open, and some of you are probably disgusted thinking, ‘How the hell can someone dislike their own children?’ she writes.
“I know, it’s effed up, which is why it took me so long to tell anybody about it.”
I did not like my children when this photo was taken. I actually resented them for existing. Kaiden was 17 months old…
Posted by Juggling The Jenkins – Tiffany Jenkins on Monday, November 16, 2020
Ashamed to tell someone, Tiffany says she “remained silent and buried my thoughts.”
“I smiled for photos and mustered false admiration when someone would fawn over them. I cried often, most of the day actually and questioned my sanity and constantly berated myself for being such a terrible person,” she says
One day, after deciding to leave her children in their cots all day, something changed for Tiffany. Instead of following through, she rang her doctor.
“The moment my favourite receptionist answered I broke down in tears,” says Tiffany. “I told her I didn’t want to be a mum anymore and she told me to ‘Come in IMMEDIATELY.'”
Tiffany was diagnosed with postpartum depression. Importantly, she realised her feelings weren’t something she could fix on her own. “My doctor and I fixed it together,” she says.
Now, Tiffany’s children are four and six years old, and she says, “I love and adore them so much that my heart physically aches when I think of them. I would give my life for them without blinking.
“Reaching out for help was the greatest gift I have ever given them as a mother.”
Tiffany decided to share her story to let other mums know they aren’t alone!
“You aren’t crazy — and it doesn’t have to be this way. Tell someone. Tell someone TODAY. It gets better,” she says.
The reaction to Tiffany’s post has been incredibly positive.
“Thank you for being vulnerable Tiff,” one person writes. “You may have saved some lives with this confession. So grateful for your honesty.”
Another adds: “I’m so glad you’re sharing this. It IS important for mothers who struggle through this to know that they are not alone- to know that others understand – and to know that there is help out there.”
The post has struck a chord with mums-to-be too.
“I’m so glad this is becoming something that’s widely talked about,” says another commenter. “I’m due in January, and I know to look out for signs of PPD, and have told my husband about it as well so he can look out for it too.
“Hopefully, no mum ever feels alone in these feelings ever again.”
If you or someone you know are expecting a baby or have recently become a parent, and are struggling, PANDA is here to help – call 1300726306.
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