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While we eagerly prepare the birth of our baby, we sometimes neglect to think about what happens next. But the first 12 weeks after the birth – known as the postpartum period or the fourth trimester – is a time of incredible change for mum and baby, with a lot happening both emotionally and physically, and it’s worth considering ahead of time.
In our latest TMB TV sponsored by Modibodi Reusable Nappies, we talked to midwife and lactation consultant Hannah Willsmore on how to best prepare for this time, to make it as smooth and comfortable as possible.
The fourth trimester is a busy and exhausting time, and you might find you’re not able to do all the things you normally do. “Make a bit of a plan before about what your partner can do, maybe see if you’ve got family or friends that can help out,” says Hannah. “Start to think how will you actually manage to do the things that you’re doing now, but also with a new baby.”
As well as organising support around the house, it can be helpful to generally lower your expectations about what you will be able to achieve. “There’s a lot of stuff I think we do need to drop and just leave for a little while,” says Hannah. “If you’re used to having a really tidy house, maybe just be okay with it not being quite as clean as usual, and just focus on the things that are really important to you, like having a tidy area where you’re feeding or where you’re spending most of the day.”
As well as recovering from birth and looking after your newborn, you’re also becoming a mother. This process, known as matrescence, while not discussed very often, can be overwhelming.
“Motherhood is probably the biggest transition that we ever go through with our identity and our changes to our work commitments, lifestyle, our living arrangements,” says Hannah. “There’s a lot of changes, but also becoming a mum and having this person that is dependent on you.”
As well as having conversations with other women who are going through a similar experience, Hannah suggests thinking about it, even journaling in advance. “Journaling is a great strategy to use, even in pregnancy,” she says. “Just starting to think about how life may change, and how am I going to feel about that?” Maybe consider your personality and what you need to put in place to stay happy and calm. Perhaps you don’t like having a lot of people around so limit the number of visitors. Or if you’re someone who needs time to themselves, ask your partner to hold the baby so your can have a quick walk each day.
There is an enormous amount of support available for new mums. So make a list before you hit that fourth trimester, when you might be feeling too tired and emotional to think straight. “It’s good to look at this stuff while you’re still pregnant,” says Hannah. “Make a bit of a plan: ‘If I’m struggling with feeding, who can I reach out to, if I’m struggling with getting that time in the day to have a break or I’m feeling really overwhelmed’.”
This might mean considering options such as a cleaner or a postpartum doula. “We have lactation consultants like myself, but also midwives are trained to provide support over that first six weeks, so we can provide support with breast feeding and sleep and settling and just really adjusting to parenthood,” says Hannah. “We can also check on your health and your baby’s health as a midwife.” There are also lots of different services such as child health nurses, drop in clinics and mothers groups or websites such as the Australian Breastfeeding Association.
Friends and family will want to visit you after the birth, and sometimes this can become too much. “A lot of people forget how intense those first few days or those first few weeks are,” says Hannah. “But I think it’s coming from a good place – they’re just excited to meet your baby and to see you as a family.”
Hannah suggests that it might be helpful to set some boundaries in advance and limit your visitors. “Sometimes you do need to put those boundaries in place to be able to really enjoy that time and recover from birth,” she says. On the other hand, if all is going well, you might feel like seeing people and change your mind. Just remember to have that chat with your partner beforehand and put an initial plan in place.
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