Try a family spring clean (and no, sadly it doesn’t involve throwing out the kids!)

Ever thought to try a family spring clean?

What is it about spring that makes us want to clean? When the weather starts to turn, there is an undeniable need for freshness and order and most of us find ourselves throwing open the (newly cleaned) windows and hurling clutter straight out.

I love it. There is something about the idea that we can get rid of the mustiness of winter and start bleachy fresh in the sunshine that just makes me feel alive. Matter of fact, I love the feeling so much that a few years ago I started wondering if it was possible to spring clean my mental load along with the house.

Turns out, you can. The trick is to get the whole family on board because, let’s face it, our kids and partner are probably the cause of at least 80% of our internal angst during any given week. By the end of a long winter, I’m just about ready to sell the kids on Etsy and start over with a new batch. Wouldn’t that be lovely sometimes? To be able to start all over again building humans, only this time we’d be experienced. This time we’d get it right…

I digress. We can’t sell the kids on Etsy, nor would we want to (most days). But what we can do is sit everyone down, air our grievances, dust off our routines, throw out bad habits and start fresh. It’s like a reset button for all the things that are bugging us about family life.

Try a family spring clean

We are ‘that family’ – the family that hold family meetings, generally ad hoc, but sometimes weekly or monthly. It might not suit you to do the same, but I do urge you to hold a once-off annual spring clean meeting. At this meeting, no matter the age of your child/ren, you all get to talk about what you think is working well and what you would like to change.

Some things to discuss might include:

Bedtimes and bedtime routines

Many families go through life without ever changing or even discussing bedtime, but ours is not one of them. My kids have made fighting for a later bedtime into an Olympic sport and a few years ago we decided that we would review the bedtime once a year and set a new time if appropriate. This doesn’t require much sacrifice; over three years, my youngest daughter’s bedtime has moved from 8pm to 8.15pm, but she is very proud of her negotiating skills and the little wins she has each year.

I’m also very proud of being able to negotiate down from three bedtime stories to one and, later, no bedtime story at all. Goals are important.

Chores and daily habits

An ongoing battle in many families homes, we are constantly reviewing who does what and when (and, lately, for how much). However, the big springtime clear out is a good time for talking about what makes a job ‘well done’ and what makes a job simply done. At the spring clean, we can set expectations and ask the kids to rise.

This is true for daily habits too – things like teeth brushing, face washing, bed making… all the things we ask our kids to take care of on a daily basis that do not form part of ‘chores’. I like to tell the kids that the more refined we can make our daily habits, the happier our daily lives will be.

No matter how old your kids are, it’s good practice to set a few ‘takeaways’ for them to work on after the spring clean meeting.

Things like:

• A good habit goal (e.g. Brushing teeth for three minutes, not 3 seconds; making my bed each morning; putting things away after I play with them, etc)
• An empathy goal (e.g. Helping my brother with his bed; doing a chore for my sister when it’s her turn, etc)
• A personal habit goal (e.g. eating more fruit or vegetables; drinking more water; spending more time outside, etc)

Discipline and consequences

Ask your kids to set the consequences for misbehaviour and you might be pleasantly surprised. Kids have a finely-tuned sense of justice and they are very fair when deciding on what punishment fits what crime. The family spring clean is a good time to revisit how it works at your place and get the kids’ input. They will be more likely to agree to consequences if they have had a hand in setting them.

• Brainstorm the kinds of things that are acceptable and not acceptable behaviour
• Brainstorm what consequences would suit breach of acceptable behaviour
• Decide the ‘top 5’ good behaviours that your family want to see more of
• Agree the ‘bottom 5’ poor behaviours you are all going to do much less

Screen time

This is a constant (constant!) battle at our place. Over the years, we have gone through so many manifestations of how much screen time is appropriate and when. This is something you will revisit time and again over the course of an average year, but a once-a-year review is helpful. Questions to ask include:

• What do you like playing/watching on screens?
• Is there a difference between some games and others?
• What do you think is a fair amount of screen time?
• When is your favourite time of the week to go on screens?

Activities and holidays

The weather heating up is the perfect time to organise a few activities to look forward to as a family. We end our spring clean session with a big brainstorm about what we want to do over spring and summer. What are we doing in the holidays? What are some things we want to do together as a family? Who should we visit? Where would we like to go? We start to plot out some ideas and build on them over the next month or so. Then we remind each other often about what’s coming up. Every family needs something cool to look forward to over summer.

“Try a family spring clean” is by Maxabella