Why we let our baby sleep in their own bed from birth by Flick Frankish
Deciding on where our baby would sleep was never something I agonised much over. I saw other mums in my online group with co-sleepers, bassinets and cots in their bedroom, but I knew we wouldn’t be doing any of that. As soon as Cassie arrived, she was going to go straight into her own room, into a cot with the door closed. And this is exactly what happened.
I know this isn’t a popular choice with many, but like most things in parenting, it is about survival – and I needed my sleep. I am a light sleeper. If my husband makes the tiniest grunt in the night, he gets a knee in the backside from me. And for those of you who haven’t yet experienced it, newborns are noisy. Really noisy.
I also love my personal space. My husband will try and cuddle up to me at night time, but there is no way I am falling asleep with him draped over me. I knew if we tried co-sleeping, the baby might be sleeping, but I certainly wouldn’t be.
So out of the room it was.
Read more: best cots, bassinet and cradle reviews
Read about the latest safe sleep recommendations at rednose.com.au
We brought Cassie home on day 3, and yes, there was a part of me that was reluctant to put her in the cot so far away from me. I wrapped her, turned the monitor sensor pads on (this was for my peace of mind), and left both her and our doors open. That lasted about five minutes. After being unable to tune out her heavy breathing I shut her door. A few short minutes later I then shut our door. Peace. Finally.
Having a routine helped
Cassie was a clockwork baby. On her cry (every three to four hours to start with), I would get up and become a mum on a mission. The goal: get the baby fed and back into bed without waking the sleeping husband (he, after all, had work the next day. Plus there was no sense having two tired parents in the household – I was the only one with the food!).
I would set up a movie player with a show, and this was how I timed our feeds as I sat in the rocking chair in her room. Cassie would feed from one side, I would pause the show, burp her and change her nappy, then I would swaddle her up ready for sleep again and feed her from the other. After laying her down I would creep back into the bedroom, ready to go again in a few hours.
It worked for us
This was how it was for us and this was what worked. I was always wide awake and alert during the feeds to make them as productive as possible. I was also able to go back to the comfort of my bed afterwards and head back to sleep. My husband was never disturbed. He was able to head off to work happy the next day and come home in the evenings ready to help me out. It was a win-win. In a matter of weeks, Cassie stretched her feeds to five hours apart and was soon sleeping through the night. We haven’t looked back since.
That isn’t to say we have never brought her into our room. There was the time she had a cough and I had given up all hope of sleep, so I let her lay on top of me for the night. There are the lazy mornings when she wakes that little bit too early where I bring her into bed for a snuggle. There are always exceptions, but overall, co-sleeping and having Cassie in our room wasn’t for us.
We will do this again
We will be doing the same when her sister arrives and I can only hope we have the same experience.
Of course, it’s not for everyone. I understand why people want their babies close, why they want to be able to roll over and breastfeed in the middle of the night, and why this is so appealing.
Many people seem surprised when I told them our plans for Cassie and some even tried to talk us out of it. But parenting is about choosing what works for you. As long as the baby is safe, that’s all that matters.
We have a happy and healthy two-year-old who knows that mummy and daddy’s bed is off limits – and there are no complaints over here.
Read about the latest safe sleep recommendations at rednose.com.au.
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